Something wicked this way comes.
~2nd Witch, Macbeth
or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. And by Bomb I mean Google."
So I'm going to go out on a literary limb here and go ahead and make a prediction about the end of the world. I know, I know. You're thinking, "Not another Nostradamus-fueled rant about fire and brimstone, idiot sons, nuclear holocaust and the like! We've had our fill! And besides! We survived Bush for the most part." No, my friends. I'm going to take a giant leap here and just blame the future zombie hordes on Google.
There. I said it.
So follow along here, k? 'cause Imma say something important. And there are not going to be any apostrophes in "Imma" because I have no f'ing clue where you would put them. Let it slide.
Now, back on track. Alcohol is tasty, right? We all (for the most part, LDS, Witnesses and some people in SLC aside) like a nice glass of wine, a cold one on a warm day and a good shot of tequila or two until that girl at the bar with the tattoo of Elvis on her head becomes Miss Right. But one shot too many and you wake up next to a hobo named Charlie with your car in the front lawn (and not your front lawn) and CNN outside.
And what about a good, thick steak? That's tasty! Slow cooked on the grill, seared to perfection with some cracked pepper and maybe a little of that MSG we used to love as kids...good stuff. But have 5 of them a week for a couple of years and we could butter our biscuits with the lard they take out of your cold dead heart. Right?
Stay with me now, 'cause this is it. Secret of life in the Universe: ALL THINGS IN MODERATION. Have we learned nothing in our brief little history? Get lots of allies and bomb a country into submission with a well-conceived plan: GOOD! Bomb the hell out of a country all by yourself then run to bomb someone else: BAD! Two pounds of nachos shared with a few friends: GOOD! Two pounds of nachos all to yourself: ASS OF FIRE. Which is bad.
Simple, right?
Good. So Google. Google Wave, Google Chrome, Google Phone, gmail, gtalk, Google Calendar, Google search, Google Toolbar. ALL YOUR BASES ARE BELONG TO US. It's even embedded in the very page you're reading right now (and in millions of other pages) as Google Analytics.
I repeat: Have we learned nothing? See above about that moderation thingy I mentioned. Because seriously...you're all up in arms about whether or not Obama's going to give you health care, steal your babies and make you a commie bastard and all the while you're asking those questions from the same source. Uh huh.
Googled it, didn't you?
So there it is. One day they'll rule the world. And then, probably on a damned Tuesday, Microsoft in a failed attempt at a coup d'état will set fire to the whole Google world and bam.
Google Zombies.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
I was on the CNN page earlier looking for information on Nasa's plan to shoot the moon when I saw a little piece about a new massive ring discovered around Saturn. It made me think of some other, similar recent discoveries and it started to sink in: Despite how much we've destroyed in one conquest or another, despite our seemingly endless capacity for stupidity - more things have been discovered and invented in our lifetimes than perhaps ever before. So many things that it has become impossible to know them all. Imagine that. We've discovered and created so much that we've actually diluted our own ability to know about them.
It's a valid argument to bring to point the ancient Egyptians (who were, if you do your research) extremely advanced, well beyond the later Greeks and Europeans, at various points having running water, sewers systems, medicine, mathematics, chemistry and physics and that later, people traveled the world and coumented for the first time new speicies, places and cultures. True. But still, I have to wonder how much that compares to speed and breadth with which we discover things today.
For the longest time, I truly felt like the time for finding new things was over, that we'd have to leave our planet and maybe our solar system for even a chance at a discovery. In some cases that's been true. Massive telescopes, new technology and fresh eyes have found more things in the universe than we ever imagined, from galaxies and black holes to comets, new planets and giant ice rings right in our neighborhood.
And how cool is that?
Then, right here on our own little rock we've started finding new species of plants and animals, hundreds of them in the south Pacific. And that's just the past few years alone. We've looked macroscopically at the universe and microscopically at ourselves and found so much.
There's a line from Men in Black that despite the campy subject matter is really kind of a marker of our time. Tommy Lee Jones' character tells Will Smith's about aliens living on Earth and says,
"Fifteen hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everyone knew the world was flat and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow."
I like that. Imagine what we'll know tomorrow.
Why exactly have I not been to Dragon Con before this? I mean, really?
A discussion on Twitter this afternoon focused on a local coffee shop that's started charging an 8% fee on credit card transactions. Apparently a coffee shop in the Highlands has decided to recoup some of their costs via a nifty little hit on credit and debit users. It doesn't surprise me, really. It's a typical Highlands establishment with a little more attitude than I can usually stomach and more than once they've been huffy and a little condescending to me when I didn't show up with cash. Unfortunately, the elitist attitude isn't against the law.
The outrageous processing fee however, is. As are minimum purchases and a few other things. Most of these issues are violations of the contracts businesses have with credit card agencies.
Check out your rights as a consumer. Yes, times are tough for businesses, but you know what? They're tough for consumers as well. You know what else? Atlanta has a coffee shop on just about every corner. You can choose where to get screwed out of your $5 for that 35 cents worth of coffee and milk.
The best writers are drunks and whores (i.e. Southeners and Canadians.) Well medicated, somewhat well adjusted women are just not creating the kind of slapstick fodder that's neccesary for good humor blogging.
There was once a time when I really paid attention to the blogosphere and religiously followed a few of the clever souls out there who really made it what it is, and made it worth reading. They stood out and were easy to find and so very often the responses to their writing were as clever as the writing itself. Now if you search for a news item you're far more likely to find a blog post about it than CNN. In a sense we've used 21st century technology to move backwards in time to a period when spoken word and stories were the only way information and histories were passed on. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
But just like that time so long ago when the story was passed from elder to elder and tribe to tribe, once in awhile the teller moved on to find new adventure, a new story. And so it is with the blogosphere.
Take care Mom O Matic. You were an unabridged dictionary in a land of book burners. And you can't spell to save your life. Which makes me happy.
I don't normally write a lot about politics, mostly because everyone has a different opinion and no one is ever really willing to budge. More so, people are basically cowards and no one really wants to go against political correctness or popular opinion or whatever PolySci god they're following this week. I say, screw that. Look at the bigger picture. Even if it isn't always PC.
I was on Twitter today when one of the usual suspects posted a link to this graphic:
Assumption 1 - Locally-owned businesses buy primarily from other locally-owned businesses, thus creating an economic cycle that benefits the local economy. Non-LOBs buy primarily from other non-LOBs, thus only benefiting the economies of the areas where those non-LOBs are located.
Fact - This is nonsense. Businesses, whether locally-owned or not buy goods and services from the suppliers who provide the products they need at a price they can afford in the market they serve. Regardless of where they are located. Plain and simple. This is one of the fundamental concepts of economics.
And consider this: The people who encourage you to "only buy locally" also tend to be big supporters of "go green" movements, all natural organic pesticide-free foods, etc. That's great. The problem is that small locally-owned businesses (and things like farmer's markets) transport smaller amounts of product more frequently, thus making more trips to provide a smaller number of people with the products they want while larger non-LOBS tend to buy in bulk, requiring fewer transport trips to supply a larger number of people with their goods. Thus, locally-owned businesses typically have a higher carbon footprint than non-LOBs. Frequently small LOBs cannot afford to participate in recycling and waste-reduction programs, programs that "give back to the community" and donate to local charities.Fact - Non-LOBs employ the same people as LOBs - typically people from the community where the business resides. On top of that, non-LOBs are typically larger (and often chains) and usually employ MORE local people than small locally-owned businesses. In addition to that, they usually pay more, charge less and often provide health and medical benefits that LOBs do not since they cannot afford them. Yes, people tend to spend their money where they live - especially if they make enough to do so. Do the math: a 500-employee chain hardware center employs more local people than a 5-person mom-and-pop store.
Take a look at one of the few facts on that chart above. It states that no matter whom you buy from, the sales tax money goes to schools, police and local services. The chart however makes it appear that in non-LOBs that money is somehow less. The reality is that states and local governments charge sales and use tax on any product (and many services) sold in their jurisdiction and 100% of that goes back to the jursidiction (I know, I own a small business and file the damned things every quarter), regardless of who owns the company.
The bigger picture is important here, though. It's not a simple question of buying locally or not locally, it's a question of getting the goods and services you want and need where you live at a price you can afford, whether it be a niche item from a locally owned niche shop, special services, toilet paper or fresh carrots. If you don't settle and you create a demand for the products you want (especially all natural organic pesticide-free foods) you drive businesses to provide them economically and often conveniently. The bottom line is spend the money with the people who offer what you want and support good business practices.
There is no such thing as a "closed local economy." Every community has people who work in one city and live in another, shop in yet another and send their kids to school in yet another living right next door to people who only live, work and shop in the local area.
So why do business with LOBs at all? Lots of reasons. They may offer the goods and services you really want...you know the people who work there or own the business so you have a personal connection to it, thus giving you a sense of community...they might be closer and thus better for your carbon footprint...or maybe it just makes you feel good. That counts for something. The point is, there's no reason to shop only at locally owned businesses.
We're all in this together.
or, Let Them Eat Cake, Just don't Make Them Eat it on the Floor.
It's been a seriously productive, active and exhausting month since I moved in. So much so that I can't believe it's been a month already! The house is starting to come together and feel like home. It seems like it doesn't take much, really...a piece of furniture here, some art there. That is until you see the credit card bill. Things are shaping up though so perhaps I can slow down on the getting stuff.
So far I found a couch I wanted (and had to build), climbed up into the attic and wired the speakers for the iPod, soldered the wiring for the iPod connections down in the closet, painted the bedroom (California Pine), installed a ceiling fan and light in the bedroom, mounted and hung the TV, set up the surround sound and Blu-ray player, started installing a new stone path to the deck, treated the lawn for the massive number of mosquitoes that seem to live there, wired and installed landscape lighting along the drive so I can see where I'm walking in at night, fixed the front porch light and weed whacked the edging. Oh, and somewhere in there I bult a dining room table and ordered chairs to go with it. I looked all over and just couldn't find one I liked so I got tired of looking and just found lumber. Much easier to find.
The Top, legs and bracing are red Oak, and the base is Poplar.The chairs are Rubberwood and came from India. I like that the chairs are Rubberwood, it's about as sustainable as lumber gets since the trees produce a sap that's used in latex. After 20 to 30 years, the trees produce less and less latex and are cut down and replaced. The cut down trees are then used for lumber. They are never grown just for lumber, which is kinda cool.
Maybe it's time to slow down a bit and just enjoy the last days of the summer. Right after I get some patio furniture...
...even if they did leave the oven, washer and dryer a filthy mess. lol
Front room from the dining room. I'm not sure why the doorknob is so high on that door. Childproofing? The light above the camera is on a nice digital dimmer. There's no light in the living room so I'll have to use my floor lamps. There's also a secondary light on the front porch that I have no idea how to control. It may not be hooked up.
Kitchen. Behind the pocket doors at the end is a small laundry room, the main door to the left is a pull out pantry. Lots of cabinet space and a fair amount of counter space. The stove is gas, fairly nice but really needs cleaning. Also looks like I'll have to do some work on the washer and dryer. They're newer but pretty banged up.
Master bedroom. The shelving on the right has hookups for the speaker system wired into the house. Not sure what I plan to do with that.
Office. If I have room in here I may try to put a pull out bed for guests. Love the storage in here. Very nicely crafted.
Dining room and doors to the deck and the back yard. You can see the access to the attic from here, on the right side of the dining room. TV will have to go on the right wall, so it's going to have to be rewired for it.
Master bedroom, entry to the bathroom. Not sure about this color. I'm thinking of something greener, maybe. I'll have to see how well the artwork I have fits into what's already there.
Master bath. Ahhh subway tile! That shower head is going to have to go. All my showers in Europe have had a nice sprayer on a metal hose. I kind of like that. We'll have to see how it's plumbed.
Built-ins in the master bath. There isn't much in the way of linen closets so this really makes a difference.
Closet in the master bedroom. I'm honestly not sure if this will fit all my clothes or not. I'm going to have to see. It's got space to the left of the door as well.
That's about it for now! I'm excited to have a place of my own again after almost 4 years. I've already started moving in little things and I think I'll pick up some more cleaning stuff and bring over a few more things tonight. Last night after I got some boxes moved over and unpacked, I was standing outside and my whole back yard was filled with fireflies. They're something I was really looking forward to when I moved here since you don't really see them in southern California, and I've rarely seen them here with how paved the apartment complex is. It's just nice. :)
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Recent Comments
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dsm said:
[this is good]Wow, when i Googled "google zombies apocalypse" I found your posting...scary. Thanks for the warning. read more
on The End is Near -
Bulletproof Monk said:
Thanks, David. I do appreciate the personal attention you get at small locally owned businesses (I'm having coffee in one... read more
on The Locally Owned Business Myth -
dsm said:
[this is good]You see, you should write more political stuff.We have a locally owned video store who started up in the community... read more
on The Locally Owned Business Myth -
gollykim said:
[this is good]Thanks for the cybertour, very nice house. read more
on There's No Place Like Home
HAHAHA AWE SOME. read more
on The End is Near